The varied roles of Mr Jwai-cha (Skyping with the in-laws)

I spent better part of last week, and the week before that getting married.

Now, a week later into my marriage, I’m skyping with her parents. Not just skyping, but entertaining them as well. Wifey just convinced me to play a song for her folks. Her sister requested an instrumental piece, which I can play very famously when alone.

In front of a digital audience, I fumbled around for notes and ended a song with a nascent twang. Sigh. So much of  my dreams of shredding in front of head banging audiences.

And then came the sightseeing tour. Of our room.

“Look, look maa. This was the dresser I was talking to you about! I’ll get one for you as well!”

“… then here’s the thulo daaraj we got just before the wedding. It’s where most of my sarees go.”

“…and this is from where we shifted your jwaii-cha’s books.”

And what are you using it now, her mother asked.

“Oh,” she said, “I’m using it to store my new shoes.”

Ah, married life. I think I’m going to enjoy this.

If you are reading this then…

… then it can be safely assumed that the world didn’t end… such is the power of the story that had gripped us for the last thousands of years, alive just waiting for this moment…just to check if it was right or should we indeed need to pack our bags for a one way journey

As a lore-chaser and mythmaker, I find the power of a story inspiring. It’s story that outlasts everything. It was there before you were born, it will remain until the last of the humans bade sayonara. It’ll outlive us all.

A beautifully told story is immortal. In that light, a wish for immortality is not to live forever. It is a wish to be cast in the stories, probably married to the best plots. Immortality is but a wish to be remembered in a story, don’t you think? That’s why the first thing the dictators and tyrants do is to try and change their history books. And that’s one of the reasons you have to rethink what you learned.

And for the same reasons, I’m trying to write a funny one about the Kantipur – the city, not the daily paper you get, this year. If anyone has the right to question myth and invent a new one, it’s the writers and not the tyrants. They tend to mow out the funny and really interesting bits, and insert really dull parts. We don’t that anymore, do we?

And that’s what I intend to do it this year. I want to get a first draft going. Call it my resolution, call it my NaNoWriMo stretched for a period of a year. Call it whatever, I’ll call it my story. More about it later, but just for a teaser I’ll let you in on a secret: it’s got godly characters! for real! literally! I could use more exclamation marks, if I could afford more. What I can afford will go to feed my story, so sorry for the lack of ! marks in this post.

Talking of stories, I cannot let the year that was 2011 pass without commenting on some of the stories that were ‘immortal’ for me. The blogs that gave me my fill of stories were (and still are), in random order are:

1. Zinta: If I had knack for prose that sing, then I’d write like her. But since I don’t, I read hers instead.

2. Tales of twisted fibers: Because she promised me a Batman sweater. She’s got some sweet skills, a writing flair that I cannot boast of and a charm that shines in her blog.

3. A pea in a pod: For her writing. For her film reviews that never fail to impress. If you haven’t already read her works in the Kathmandu Post. I suggest you do. I wish I could write a witty post like her, and oh, if I could draw as well. Sigh.

4. Kanchan: She knows art, writes like a dream. And reads Terry Pratchett. Period.

5. Norbu: His posts are lucid, it flows. In his introduction he writes:

Norrbu is selfish and cares of nothing other than his own happiness. Often his happiness includes the well being of other people.

But that is just a co-incidence.

whereas in mine, I wrote: May contain nuts. Go figure.

6. Shashank’s photoblog: This guy is why I got into photography. Nearly a decade ago, we were working for a magazine. He had a camera that we all wanted. I got one- the same one, after a miraculous bout of windfall. He taught me how to use it. Bless his cotton socks.

7. Hawaguff: An engineer by profession, a poet and a jokemaster by heart. He should write more. Aamen.

8. TinGrin: I wish I could spin poetry like her. I wish.

9. Wongi: She moved her blog to a secret location. But I can tell you that, even if you are not allowed there- yet, it’s a magical place where thoughts etch out awesome illustrations.

10. And many others. And like my favorite author of all time Terry Pratchett said about the people who influenced him, “I can best repay their kindness by not mentioning their names here“.

Thank you for making my internet awesome last year. I hope you’ll continue to do the same this year.

2012 might or might not be the end of the world; let it not be the end of the stories. Write on.

सुन्नेलाई सुन को माला
भन्नेलाई फूल्को माला
यो कथा टाढा, धेरै टाढा जाला
र, एक पल्ट फेरी फर्केर
तपाईंलाई न्यनो पार्न
आइजाला

I am the man…

…who runs very fast. Sprint, should the occasion calls for it. Which I have done for two times till date. Boy, can I sprint or what!

The first time I ran, I was fending off a mad dog, hell bent to tear me from limb to limb. I blew out my lungs, stretched my tendons and wore out my flip-flops in the five second dash that my cousins remember all too fondly. They tear up laughing, every time. And, this was what? some 15 years ago?

I ran for my life the second time when I expressed my opinion. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but didn’t. Me and my blabbermouth! Sheesh.

I claimed the title of history’s worst peeping tom, and came this close to being clobbered. (Editors note, to the would be peeping toms: never, ever, never, ever say, “Yes, you do.” when the lady you are stalking asks her friend: “Hey, do I look fat or what?“)

It wouldn’t have been that bad, if she was just, you know, casually mentioning when fully dressed. What saved me that day was not my prodigious skills in sprinting, but the fact that she was partially naked in her birthday suite. And wet.

C’mon, it wasn’t that bad- Victoria had her secrets. It wasn’t, you know, spilled.

At times, I look back and wonder. Who’d have inflicted the maximum damage? The dog? The half dressed siren? Can’t say, really. But my money’s on the siren.

Yes, yes. I overexpose!

…by two stops, actually.

Look, I found a Fish

Writers are often asked to set aside their writing for a while. That’s a nifty practice. If you have time – by that, I mean, the said writer is not writing, sitting an inch away from deadline – you should totally do that as well.

Write what you can on one sitting. Leave it for say a week or so to come back again. You’ll be amazed to find the things you might have missed in the first go. I found last year’s dinner on my writing once. I know, it’s weird. But hey, it works. I think the photographers should do the same.

If there is a spot for more finicky thing than writers, us photographers sweetly claim the spot. We beat the writers hands-down on self loathing, bitching about the flow and all that. And, oh, did I mention light? We photographers have to deal with that too. Often time we come back dejected from the shoot, an millimeter away from screaming and cursing the light, the model, the by-standers, the software and the list goes on and on. The same thing happens on the editing table as well.

I quickly load the photos on to my computer the moment I come back from a shoot (not the shoot as in professional shoot. You know, it’s just shoot. It’s easy to emulate it. Take the bloody camera out, point and go click! There’s my type of shoot for you). Select the few photos that stand out, like really stand out. Export it. Email it away. And be done. That’s it.

Yesterday, I changed that pattern. You know the trek we did just after Dashain? Yup, that one. I went back to see if I could find anything new. I wanted to create high art with what I had. Art, you see, is what I live for. I live to honor it………Or not.

To tell you the truth, I went around the photos because my torrent was leeching the bandwidth and I couldn’t get online as I said, I live to create works of art and all that. I fiddled around, edited few of the stuffs in hacked software a program that I paid Rs 50 for. In Khasa Bazaar, famous for bootlegged stuffs and more.

I found this gem. It’s a work of art, I tell you.

Yup, it’s the Fish. Here’s another one of the famous fish. In color. Just so that you might not accuse me of ‘monochroming’ your fish.

I’ll come back again to this post, in a year’s time. Maybe my fish will be cooked by then.

If only the perfect bird sang, the forest will be a lonely place

One of the most frustrating thin in the world is to have an idea, without the necessary fundamentals to host it on.

I’ve an idea. Naturally, I think it’s awesome. Hey, c’mon, as the creator of the idea, I have to have some reservations about it. Hoina? If I ain’t bleating out my trumpet much, who is? Innuendo much?

Back to ideas, we’ll leave suggestive remarks for later.

I have an idea. I can see it in my head. It comes alive in my dreams, stains my sleep and vanishes as the dawn creeps in. Remember the verse that I did about Kathmandu sometime back? It’s ok to admit it that you haven’t read it. I won’t bite. Nor is this a surprise quiz post. (PS: you can find that post here)

After doing what I did in my last post (PPS: I animated something. Check it out. I think it’s awesome, of course), I wanted to convert it into something cool. I wanted some motion in that verse. I want to animate it. I did the last one in After Effects. It took me ages. After working on prototype for 3 weeks, I got around to releasing it.

Not so much luck on the current project. Already in the second week, my patience is stretching thin, my imagination low. And the project is miles away from done. Light years away. Everyday brings new ideas (Pixar quality and all that), but I ain’t no animator. Nor will I ever be. To my liking anyways.

I’ve been downloading some stock footage and template to use this past couple of days. For inspiration. I want to take it far from the stock I am using. The one I got today has kinda inspired me to try something. I’ll sleep on the idea today (literally) and then work on it tomorrow in between official emails.

I have a pretty decent idea where I want to take it. But the unknown buttons of this program haunts me to kingdom come. Not sure, if I can render it as perfectly as I want. But hey, if only the perfect birds sang in the forest, wouldn’t it be a silent place?

I plan to have it ready to the weekend viewing. Wish me luck and all that. More than luck, wish me fast render speed. Aamen.

Tea mugs and conversation

[Insert awesome post here]

This one is for Zinta, whose verses I have taken here to animate. Even if it was insanely tedious to do this, I can see investing more time and effort to make more poetry in motion. I hope you’ll like my first effort.